i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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