Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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