those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
