I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
