yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize