Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
