are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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