i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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