You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
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