I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
