i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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