we have officially lost it.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize