Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize