I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I just found a bag of teeth...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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