apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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