Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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