What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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