you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
well, you know. whores of a feather.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
