I got chris browned last night
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
