Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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