both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize