But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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