and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize