I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
