I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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