He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
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Why is your signature on my underwear?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
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I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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