OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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