I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
