dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
