Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
