i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize