I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Randomize
