remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize