is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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