Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
