he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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