am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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