I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
