spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
wow bdsm is so cute
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
