just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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