my phone needs a breathalizer
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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