I am puke
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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