i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
