Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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