He is such a slut. More and more my type.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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