After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
