I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
