her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Terrible idea I love it
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
