yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
This house was built for laser tag.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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