I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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