I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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