This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
