Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
