my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
