Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize