dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Randomize
