I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
